Journey to the Centre of the JVM

What do you do when your quest for power leads you to implementations which are not just platform- but processor- and even architecture-version-specific in nature? How do you even start tracking down a bug in a Scala-based implementation which is not only nondeterministic, but only manifests on certain hardware? In this talk, we will dive into the wild and ill-understood world of CPU architecture, memory models, and JVM intrinsics (all through the lens of very high-level purely functional abstractions!) as we examine the story of the most convoluted and mind-bending bug hunt of my entire career.